Reprieve

For several weeks I have been increasingly involved in the planning of a charity golf tournament to benefit All God's Creatures (AGC), a local animal rescue and adoption non-profit, in Edgefield County. Check it out at http://www.agcpetrescue.org. The specific goal at the moment is raising sufficient funds to build a proper shelter for the animals in residence awaiting adoption on a great piece of land already owned by AGC. Presently and less-and-less satisfactorily, the entire operation is located at the home of the organization's founder.

While I admire the organization and its work and I do want to see the building erected and put to good use, something has felt amiss during these weeks. I've not been able to put a finger on what the feeling actually was, but I've experienced a distinct lack of energy for my assigned tasks. People I have contacted for specific contributions have required 2nd and 3rd reminders; registration, despite good publicity and verbal promises to form teams and sign up, have been nearly non-existent; the planning has seemed to move in circles.

My response to all this? Well, it has occupied a single line from "work harder" at one end to "forget it" at the other! And, while where I found myself on that line was dependent on the time of day, on my mood, on lots of things, I've been practically dangling from the "forget it" point for the last ten days.

Tal delivered the word of reprieve in a telephone call yesterday afternoon between my presentations in Columbia. Postponed. A calamity in which no people and no animals were hurt was the tipping point for the rest of the planning team. A structure -- a small barn constructed of heart pine -- housing an apartment and providing storage at AGC burned early yesterday morning. The aftermath of the fire, beginning with the already working bulldozer and visits from the insurance adjusters, is going to be intense, making the all uphill process of actually getting the tournament off the ground on Friday less important or even desirable.

Now, I don't think I've been having a premonition of a fire; the something feeling amiss wasn't ominous by any means. But, I have to wonder at trusting the unease. How does one differientate between a willingness or a propensity to work hard and a sense that one is having to work too hard at something?